No Goodbyes
by fei3
Summary: A fic with JIN. The White Hunters are disbanding. No time left. Will Ran and Ken be able to confess their love before it's too late? Shounen ai.


Authors' notes:

This ficlet is slightly different from the ones we usually write. We were thinking how things would be like if Weiss was disbanding and Ran and Ken had a last chance of confessing to each other, and then decided to rpg - **Jin playing Ran and Fei playing Ken**. We didn't intend to put it up as a fic in the first place.

And so we'll like to thank **Keeshe**. For saying that she loved it and that it could be put up as a story. The wonderful girl even came up with a wonderful title for us. Thank you so much Keekee! *glomps from us* 

So after a bit of cosmetic surgery, this is it. We had fun doing this. Let's just say we were blushing like hell at some parts and yelling at each other to…*coughs*… stop. Hehehe. 

And lastly *sighs* we do not own Ran or Ken. Why the hell would we be rpg'ing if we did?

Well, read on folks. And we hope you'll like it. Please forgive us if the two bishies are OOC.

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No Goodbyes

by Fei and Jin

Do you measure love by time? Do you calculate friendship through trivial dates? Two...three...a million, the number of years were irrelevant for four men. Instead, see the blood that had stained their hands and know their bond. They were forever tied to each other through the sins they had witnessed and those that they, themselves, had committed.

It seemed to be a lifetime for them, the mere years spent together. But this lifetime would soon be gone, would soon disappear with the sunrise. 

Weiß was disbanding. Come tomorrow, home would no longer be a house of fragrant blossoms.

Was it a wonder then, that he could not sleep?

The stars were really bright tonight. Their once comforting light seemed mocking though. Why should they be smiling so as they pierced the inky skies? Were they taunting the darkness that seemed to shroud his very soul? 

He had never felt more alone. The only family he ever had was going to leave him now. Clutching his knees to his chest as he sat on the rickety bench in the soccer field, the brunette shivered and closed his lovely brown eyes. It was strange. He should feel happy that he didn't have to kill anymore. But then why was he feeling so cold?

Unknown to the sadly musing brunette, he was not alone in the field nor in contemplation. A lithe figure was walking in his direction although unseeing of where he was going, cold, purple eyes narrowed in concentration. Fujimiya Aya was contemplating his past. Not the tragedy of his parents or of his sister, but the family that he would be leaving this time around. Family? Yes. In a sense, they were home to him. He knew that it would be strange to wake up without the smiling face of Omi, the teasing from Yohji and....

Ken. It would be hard to imagine a life without Ken.

As if directed by fate, his head lifted, and violet eyes widened as he took in the form of the huddled brunette. Though still some distance away, Hidaka Ken's forever expressive face revealed the hurt he felt within. Aya saw him hug his knees to his chest. Suddenly, he, too, felt cold.

The redhead's presence was not noticed however. Ken was too lost in his thoughts, too lost in the knowledge that he would miss his teammates so. They were all that he had. Omi, his sweet, loving little 'brother.' And Yohji. 

The irrepressible hentai blonde taught Ken all he knew about the birds and the bees. Heh. Taught Ken more than he wanted to know. He knew he could go with Yohji. The blonde had offered bluntly two nights ago. But it was a choice Ken didn't even contemplate. He would have loved to go with the blonde as a friend, as a brother, but not.... 

No. He couldn't give Yohji what he wanted, not when his heart was with another. Another who wouldn't ever return his feelings. Leaning his tired and aching head on his knees, Ken closed his eyes and wished that things could be different. He could never be with the one he loved. So he was destined to be alone. But Gods how he would miss him. It didn't matter that his feelings were not noticed nor returned, as long as he could wake up to the knowledge of seeing him everyday. But now, that would be taken from him too. Fingers grasping at his jeans, the brunette tried desperately to find something to hold onto. But there didn't seem to be anything tangible for him to find.

Aya slowly walked closer, not wanting to alert the younger assassin of his presence. Concerned violet gaze noticed all too quickly the change in Ken's posture. He seemed to be losing control and the redhead could easily imagine him sobbing. And God knows the image tugged at his heart. He knelt beside the brunette, not knowing yet what to do while Ken was oblivious to him. So he fell back on the safety net he knew. He was Weiß. In his deep, authoritative voice he called to the one he wanted to speak softly to. 

"Ken, what are you doing here?"

The brunette jumped as he heard the voice so close to him. Brown eyes darted up and widened in shock as they fell on the one he had been longing for. Ken quickly brushed away the tears lurking at the corner of his chocolate pools and sat up straighter, scooting slightly away from the redhead. He chanced a glance at Aya and turned away again as soon as he met those impassive violet eyes. So cold. As usual. That look, that detached tone, made Ken's heart clench even tighter. It was all he could do to summon control in his voice. 

A whisper. 

"N..nothing. Just thinking. That's all."

Aya couldn't help but hurt inside. Ken wasn't just thinking. He saw the tears that were about to explode from those lovely eyes. It pained him further that Ken did not seem to want comfort from him. The distance between them that had once been a mere limb away had widened and he had lost the warmth of the brunette's body. Yet, wasn't that just so? Why would Ken want to seek solace in him? He was cold. He was heartless...and those were nothing but lies because around Ken he would always feel warm and the heart that they said wasn't there would beat a mile a minute when he saw Ken's smile. If anything, Ken would likely go to Yohji. 

Aya's face hardened at that thought. Yohji. How he detested the relationship the blonde had with the brunette. Yohji could pull Ken into his arms so easily, and shamelessly caress Ken's skin without thinking about consequences. Maybe this was about Yohji...about missing the oldest assassin when they would separate. 

"What were you thinking about?" It was so unlike him to be curious but he wanted to know. _Is it him you dream of, Ken?_

The brunette couldn't help taking a peek at the redhead but how he so regretted it. The hardening of Aya's features made him want to find a hole and crawl inside and hide. Was Aya angry at him? Why was he here? And was that a touch of concern he heard in that mesmerising voice? No. He shouldn't hope too much. It would only bring him hurt. But Aya was still his friend ne? And Aya had bothered to ask. 

Sighing softly, Ken drew his hand through his tousled locks, still keeping his gaze downwards. "Thinking about where we go from here. Ne, Aya? Have you thought of where you would go, what you would do?" He hoped he hadn't gone too far. But he wanted to know. Needed to know.

Aya kept his gaze away from the brunette as he listened to his careful answer, an answer which didn't finish the way he expected it to. Where would he go, the brunette had asked. _I would go where you would, Ken._ He almost choked at his thoughts. "I have rented an apartment close to the new school that Aya-chan would be attending. I suppose I'll try to find jobs nearby." He had revealed too much but he wanted Ken to know. Hope filled his chest that the brunette might come with him or even just visit. "You?"

He answered him. Aya actually answered him. Ken's dark eyes were drawn to the figure that had settled on the bench beside him. He studied the chiseled profile longingly. Aya seemed more relaxed tonight. Ken sighed. Maybe this would be the last time they would be talking. 

So Aya had made his plans ne? A hollow feeling settled in Ken's chest. Plans that didn't include him of course. It was stupid for him to hope for anything otherwise. Once again, his melancholic gaze turned towards the heavens, as if seeking for a light in his own darkness. "I don't know yet Aya. I'll figure it out somehow. I always do." _How I would long to go with you, Aya. But you wouldn't want me to would you?_

He could have stopped there, but the next words just slipped out. "Yohji asked me to go with him." That said, he surreptitiously cast a glance Aya's way, wanting to see how the man would react to those words.

There it was. Aya's jaws clenched and his eyes iced over. Yohji had already done what he had wanted to do -- ask Ken to be with him. Bitter hatred enveloped his heart. Hatred at himself, for it was his own fault for hesitating, for delaying. It was then that he noticed Ken looking at him, eyes wide with confusion. He turned away. He had just revealed something that he shouldn't have. He stood up. Maybe there was time to lie once more...to make Ken think otherwise. There was time for a graceful retreat if the brunette had made up his mind. 

"It seems that Yohji's invitation is your best option. I have to go and finish packing. Goodbye, Ken."

Words can kill. And the brunette experienced it then. It was as if someone had thrust a knife through his heart. A choked sound escaped through Ken's throat as he watched the redhead walk away. What did he expect? Aya to beg him not to go with Yohji? Aya to offer him a place in his life instead_? A fool Hidaka. You're such a fool_. He couldn't help the tears that slipped down his cheeks as he turned his head away, closing his eyes in a useless attempt to stem the flow. 

This was goodbye then. Feeling his heart shattering into pieces, Ken murmured, "Sou ka. Sou ka na. Goodbye Aya."

Aya stopped. _Sou ka. Sou ka na. Goodbye, Aya_. But it wasn't the words that stopped him. The voice...the voice that sounded like a part of Ken had been wrenched away made him turn back. 

Ken was in tears. 

He walked back, his footsteps matching the suddenly rapid beating of his heart. Throwing away caution... inhibitions... everything that was at stake, he reached down, pulling the brunette up and enclosing the shaking figure in his arms. "I don't want to say goodbye. Ken, I don't want to hear you say goodbye." He closed his eyes, pressing his face into Ken's sweet-smelling hair. He had never been this close yet his whole body screamed to be closer still.

Aya. Aya was holding him. Aya said he didn't want to say goodbye. 

He couldn't help it then. The tears came, tearing out of his throat in choked sobs. Ken clung to the man in front of him, burying his head in that strong chest. He could feel Aya rocking him back and forth gently, murmuring to him soothingly, but he couldn't hear what was said. It took him a while to calm down. It took a while for the tears to stop. And then he just laid there in the warm embrace, listening to the heart beating below his palm, wondering at whether it was all a dream. Tentatively, he looked up with shining brown eyes which watered again when they met the violet gaze. Lips trembling, he pleaded with the man he loved so much.

"Aya. I don't want to go with Yohji. I don't want to."

The redhead smiled, feeling that a weight had suddenly been lifted. He didn't want Ken to go with Yohji either. Not when they could be together. 

"Don't go," he whispered. He lowered his head, lips hovering a scant inch from Ken's own. "Stay with me." With that, he closed the gap between their faces and let his eyes slide slowly shut. Sweet. Beautiful. He felt like falling into a bed of rose petals. _Because I love you, Ken._

Ken gasped as he felt Aya's soft lips on his. _Am I dreaming. This has to be a dream ne?_ But if it was, he didn't ever want to wake up. Closing his eyes, he gave himself up to the sensation of Aya's warm lips, his tongue, and his sweet, sweet taste. The kiss lasted an eternity. Still too short for Ken though. 

When they finally broke apart, he could only stare in wonder at the man before him. His soft features, his beautiful eyes no longer cold. It was then that Aya's words came back to him. _Don't go. Stay with me._ Luminous brown eyes shone even brighter as they locked onto violet. "Do you mean it Aya? You want to be with me?"

Using both his hands to cup the lovely face close, Aya stared deep into eyes that shone brighter than any heavenly body in the sky. "I want to be with you, Ken. I...I...." 

He couldn't say it. Not when he wasn't sure about what Ken felt. He had shared a kiss with Ken and he had felt loved but it could have been his mind alone. "I want us to be together," he finished instead. He pulled Ken into another embrace. It would have to suffice until Ken was ready. He would be there for Ken. Answer all of Ken's needs because of one reason alone. Because…

"I love you, Ken."

Betrayed. By his own lips, a rare occurrence. He heard a gasp. Was it him? Because he was shocked at just how much Ken had affected him? Or was it Ken? Because…he felt nothing back?

The gasp did come from the brunette. He gasped as his mind reeled from the emotions roiling through his being. 

__

I love you, Ken. 

Aya...Aya loved him. A surge of warmth tore through his chest and he gripped the redhead tighter, fresh tears bursting from those chocolate pools. How long had he dreamt of this? How long? And just when he thought all was lost, he had been given the most wonderful gift in his life. 

Lifting his head from where he had buried it against the crook of Aya's neck, he smiled a tremulous smile at the man in front of him, trying to convey all his joy and love through his eyes. "Aiishiteru Aya. For so long. Forever." And he leaned forwards once more to capture those soft lips again.

Aya closed his eyes as if to contain the joy threatening to spill forth from them. The words were more than he could take. Ken loved him. He said for so long. Why had they waited until now? 

Maybe because now was perfect. Because now, the pink lips that so fascinated him were pressed to his mouth. Only perfection came to mind as he parted his lips. Ken was perfection. The kiss was pure magic. He slid his tongue softly along Ken's lower lip, loving how Ken trembled from the touch. Aya was given access eagerly. His tongue touched Ken's in slow strokes. He need not hurry with this. He wanted it to last. Their lips meshed in rhythm with the song of the gentle breeze. Slipping his hand under Ken's shirt, Aya teased the muscles on Ken's bare back with light pressures from his fingertips. All he could feel was warmth. Where was the coldness that he had felt earlier?

The brunette shuddered as he felt Aya's cool hands tracing paths along his back. A moan escaped his lips, still caught in possession by the redhead as a tongue passionately yet gently stroked his, sending waves of sensations over him. He ran his fingers through the hair he had yearned to touch for so long, feeling them slip through his fingers like silk. _Soft. So soft_. A quick, needed breath was taken as those perfect lips finally left his, only to nibble and tease their way down his neck. He whimpered the redhead's name as he was reduced to a quivering being, hands clinging on to Aya's shirt for fear that he would fall.

He couldn't get enough. He loved the way Ken whispered his name. Aya doubled his efforts on Ken's neck, wanting to cover all of the baby-soft skin with his kisses. He growled possessively. They would be covered with his kisses alone. His mouth went closer to Ken's ear, stopping just below the lobe. It was then that Ken seemed to lose control of his knees and fall limp against him. Aya smiled. He let his tongue flick out to taste the soft lobe and was rewarded with another shuddering moan from the brunette. Returning his attention to the sensitive spot on the lovely neck, Aya's lips never left the sweet, sun-kissed skin as he lowered the smaller man in his arms onto the grass. And yet there was so much more he could do. He started sucking hungrily, wanting to mark the brunette as his, his ravenous actions stopping only when he felt Ken's hands explore the skin beneath his shirt. Aya moaned. Ken was very skilled with his hands.

Aya's skin was so firm and soft and warm, so unlike his icy exterior, and Ken couldn't get enough of the feel of them. He had trouble controlling his hands though, trembling as they were due to Aya's relentless attention on his sensitive neck. He let out a whimper as he felt Aya's hands sliding to the front and caressing his stomach under his shirt. Tingles of electricity were sent coursing through his body and shooting to his groin. Moaning, he mirrored Aya's actions and was encouraged by a lust-filled groan from the redhead as he brushed hesitantly against a sensitive nipple.

Aya heard himself groan...rather loudly and suggestively. A wake-up call if you may. Lifting himself off the brunette was the hardest thing he ever did. But he did it. Taking hold of the younger assassin's wandering hands and kissing each palm tenderly, he whispered. "Not here, Ken. Not yet." 

He wasn't going to relinquish his hold on the sweet soccer-play though. Helping the brunette to his feet, he once more held him close to his body. "Let's go back to the Koneko. Knowing you, you haven't finished packing yet." _And you have yet to answer Yohji._

Still rather unsteady on his feet, Ken was grateful for the strong body he leaned upon. Resting his head against his potential lover's shoulder, he blushed. Though he ached to be touching and kissing Aya again, he was glad that the redhead stopped when he did or who knows what would have happened. Scratch that. They know what would happen and it's too soon for that. 

Ken rubbed his face cutely against Aya's shoulder and sighed. "Yeah. I hadn't been in the mood to pack. You'll help me ne?" Biting his bottom lip, he looked up at Aya. There were still things unsettled. He would have to tell Yohji. And now that he's going with Aya, he didn't know how the playboy would take it

Aya nodded. He wanted to stay by the brunette's side longer. That would be a problem when it came to Yohji. There was the option of telling Yohji "no" without informing the playboy about Ken's newfound relationship with Aya but somehow the redhead knew Youji would enquire. Especially with the way Ken's lips were kiss-bruised and with that spot under his ear looking very much like it would turn into a hickey. Aya exhaled deeply. He knew Ken was probably feeling guilty now. 

"I'm here, Ken." An answer that could respond to both spoken and unspoken questions. "I'll always be."

A warm smile graced the brunette's face as he gazed upon the man who had come to mean so much to him. Standing up on his tiptoes, he placed a soft kiss on Aya's smooth cheek. "Thank you Aya." He felt a hand winding possessively around his waist. He had no complaints about that. Resting his head on Aya's shoulder, they started the slow walk back to the Koneko. 

They were together now. Together, to face their teammate, and their future...

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to be continued?

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Erm, we haven't really decided whether or not to continue this. I guess it depends on what you readers want, and whether or not we have inspiration.

Thank you for reading. Please review?


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